Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
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