Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
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Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
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I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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