you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
