i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Randomize
