see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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