we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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