idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize
