i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
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