Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
