Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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