I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
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Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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