Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
