your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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