I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
