there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize