he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
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This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
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He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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