Tell her she can't have a vagina
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
