At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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