Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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