what day is it and did you see me today?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
