Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
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just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
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We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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