Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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