all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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