Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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