I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
