My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
