i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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