I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
