oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
