who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
