I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm bleeding and have questions
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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