i'm signing you up for texting rehab
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
