chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
