i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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