ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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