Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
