Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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