Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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