i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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