those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
she pinky promised me she was 18
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
