did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I wish life had little blips of pornography
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize