Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
