You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
