You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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