i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Randomize
