At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
