I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
