Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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