do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
