so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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