Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize