He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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