i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
