and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
