went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
