I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
