I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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