I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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