Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
