Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
