why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
