I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
