this beer tastes like vomit already
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
