I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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