yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
