You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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