Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
