We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
